Tales of Truth Stories too good to be False: part 1

First and foremost, don't email me your story. I don't trust you. These are stories that I either witnessed or heard about shortly after they happened.

1. My father had a guy ask him in a very serious tone, "So at what point does a deer turn into an elk?" Well...probably about the same time that you come back as a chicken; first you have to believe in re-incarnation.

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2. I received a phone call from a lady demanding that I drive the 45 miles to her shop to look at her printer and sound card because the company she hired the first time couldn't figure out what the problem was. The printer was out of ink and the sound card was on mute.

3. I know a guy that licked the end of branch after his brother said "this stuff is sweet!"

4. I know a guy that shattered the back windows of his brand new truck while trying to put a diesel tank in by himself.

5. The same guy admitted to catching himself on fire after getting diesel from the tank on himself and getting near an open flame.

6. The same guy fell a tree on himself after ignoring a professional faller who told him how to cut the tree down so that it wouldn't fall on the person cutting it.

7. I know a guy, who, as a little kid, decided to ride his bicycle down a hill as fast as he could, through the garage, past the washer, through the back door and up and off a ramp he had built in the back yard....only he didn't measure the doorway and it was too narrow.

8. I know a guy that consistently told me that horses have calves.

9. I have had companies tell me that they can't fulfill my order after taking it because they don't ship "outside the United States" or to "foreign countries." I wonder when Alaska became foreign.

10. I know a group of people that believe World War II never happened. The war itself...never happened...yep that's what they believe.

11. I know a guy that told a seasoned tire repair man (when the repair man showed up to fix the tire) that there was no way that you could take a truck tire off the rim with just 2 spoon bars and a tire hammer. Want to make a bet about that?

12. I have met and talked to 3 people in my life that believe beef from the store is made artificially and that the cows in the world are pets.

13. I know a shop that consistently has items stolen; yet they buy the same type of items from individuals that get "good deals."

14. I know a guy that pulled into a mechanic shop demanding new tires because "real car tires don't go flat." (note these were standard tires)

15. I had a lady call me because her scanner wasn't working. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about on the phone so I stopped by her house...she thought her monitor was her scanner. She would hold the paper to scan in front of the monitor and press "print scrn" while looking at the printer.